Thursday, March 04, 2010

This is getting (more) ridiculous

Today's MRI told us I have a "mass" on my spine, and I'm back in the hospital again.

Tomorrow, I start radiation, and may be having radiation for the next three weeks.

No chemo while this is going on, of course. Oh my.

But, the word is most people respond well to this treatment, so I'm choosing to go along with that.

A surgeon is waiting in the wings in case the radiation doesn't work; the mass could mess with such vital systems as walking and elimination and the like. Altogether now: Yikes!

Karen is keeping me company, but I hope to be sending her home in a few days. Will arrange to have my laptop during my stay, so I'll be keeping in touch. Am also going to get coverage for the Bombshell once I know what my schedule will be. Let it be soon!

Dear people: If you have any pull with Jesus, a Higher Power, gods and goddesses, or any major or minor deities at all--Earth Mother?!--would you please apply a smidge of your mojo to my case?

Well wishes work, too.

So, that's the scoop. Not what I had hoped, but my opinion appears to carry little weight these days, and I am just going to stop trying to project my wishes on what should be happening and just let what happens happen.

I think life will be far less disappointing this way, and a lot easier to calibrate to--which is what I'm doing.

And trying to keep my humor, though tonight they put me on massive doses of steroids and then told me I couldn't eat.

Rather like letting someone eat a jar of salted peanuts then saying, "Sorry, no beverages for you."

GRRRRRRRRR!

So, while I would like to think my Midwestern demeanor and humor will help me sail through this with aplomb, the steroids may be an X factor even 24 years of training as a human sheep cannot overcome.

There may be hissies, in other words.

And I will report them here, for confession is good for the soul, and you might find them funny.

And that might make this worthwhile. Well, a little worthwhile. (Let's be real, people--I'd much rather be home and healthy!)

Love from the ER in a major metropolitan hospital (no room at the inn quite yet, alas), Ann

4 comments:

val said...

I tried to call you this afternoon--now I know why you weren't home. We will certainly put in a good word for you with the Gal upstairs! Many, many good words. Steroids without food can't be right! Tell them you'll start to eat your sheets if they don't feed you!

Love-Val and Joan

Jane Levy Troy said...

Ridiculous is one word for it. I can think of a few others.

Thoughts and prayers are with you, and I'm sending much love and affection.

Carolyn said...

Throwing my prayer mojo your way.

Mizzzz Lang said...

Is cussing ok on your blog? I'm about to find out: Fucking Hell!!
Now Ann, you know I've always encouraged you in the Hissie Fit dept. You go right ahead and let yourself be as mad as you can (well, I don't know, will the steroids turn you into a Hulk-like demon if you go there?)
Anyway, we are praying for you up here in Turners Falls. And I'd love to help out in whatever way I can.
I'd also love to come see you in whatever hospital you're in this weekend. ?
May peace be in your heart, my friend.
love to you, Sita