Yesterday I was in a foul humor, no way around it. April 1, 2010 was the second anniversary of our learning that Linda had ovarian cancer, and to be in the midst of my own cancer treatment on the same day just added a grouch level over which I had no control.
So if you spoke to me yesterday and wondered what the snark was about, that's what the snark was about.
And I am still a very rash-ridden gal, which they say should ease soon. At the very least, the treatment that they think is causing the rash will be taking a break, so one hopes the welts will, too. That's a good thing, for these welts inspired a visit this midnight by a dermatology doc who needed pictures. Had I been in my right mind I would like to think I would have sent him packing, but I was so surprised by the request I let him shoot away.
Yes, I need to give up my milquetoasty ways and soon, this I know.
I had a new chemo agent the day before yesterday, too, which should help me get ahead some (or so we hope). My dear NP gave me two copies of a good book on myeloma that I am slowly making my way through. It's called "100 Questions and Answers About Myeloma," second edition. It's written by two specialists in the disease and an attorney who has myeloma and manages to do quite a bit (a little inspiration there).
Now I'm drinking an iced tea, for water tastes just terrible to me now. Woke up very, very thirsty, though, so I'm glad I had the tea on hand.
My dear doctors and nurse practitioner are working away on getting me ahead of the disease enough to head home; it's all just taking longer than I had hoped (recurrent theme #2,348). I hope they don't think I'm ungrateful for all of their efforts, I am. I just know that yesterday was a tough day on many fronts, and I am glad we're in the midst of April 2, even if it is 4:30 in the morning.
Karen is on the "job" today, which includes the glamor of making sure I have enough clean underwear for the rest of my stay (if that isn't friendship, what is?). Brother Lew is arriving on Saturday to keep me company until Sunday, which will be great, too. Lew's supposed status as older brother has been challenged a bit here--the nurses who were working here when he last visited couldn't quite believe he was 62, nor could they quite believe that he was my older brother. He acted too much like a younger one!
What to make of that, eh?
Well, I should try to get a little more sleep, perhaps. Hope that this finds you well and happy, wherever you are. With love from the 21st floor, Ann
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4 comments:
3:07 am, and you were on the internet. Yikes.
I did not know if was the anniversary of Linda finding out she had cancer. Who wouldn't be in a vile mood? You're such a sweety, but you too deserve to feel anger, funk, or anything else you need to feel.
Here's hoping the docs don't find a need to take pictures at midnight tonight. That is just insane!
Val
Hey kiddo....stopping by again to say hello.
I know anniversaries are terribly hard.. not likely going to change any time soon. I sure doesn't seem like two years tho...
Best wishes to you...my online friend. May the Easter bunny bounce your way!
Pj
Hi Ann,
I never go on blogs but I made it to yours, finally. I figured it would be a good way to find out how you're doing. My sympathies regarding the anniversary you mentioned. I'm so glad you're okay.
Milquetoast - I always thought it was milk toast, like the soggy -yet very yummy-, butter and sugar coated toast we ate as kids.
I hope you have a good Easter and I hope to see you soon!
Kathleen
Glad to hear that your brother Lew got to spend some time with u. I met him once when he came to Detroit for Beth's retirement dinner. Nice fellow.
Say strong kiddo. Know that alot of prayers and love are coming your way.
I know you will always keep Linda in your heart with all of the beautiful memories you have of her.
Keep healing so you can get home soon.
Fondly, Paula
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