Nothing says the bloom is off the rose....

...quite like a colonoscopy! That's my own deranged take on the procedure that I will be undergoing tomorrow. In a word: AIEEEEE!

Am on a liquid/jell-o/Gatorade diet today, which is not a bad thing, considering I was in NYC Monday-Wednesday and didn't exactly eat like a sparrow. I ate a lot of wonderful foods, and even though I have a head cold and couldn't taste flavors as well as I would have liked, everything I ate was delicious!

Took some pills at 10:00 a.m. that are going to start the "cleansing" process--figure I'd better blog before they work their magic, for from what I've heard, I won't be spending much time in my office soon.

But for the cold, New York was great--saw some friends, got some useful info at the conference, and even tried an open mic. It was very much like the "too many cooks" open mic Jennifer and I attended last month, with me getting a spot near the end of a long line of comics--the main difference being I subjected two of my friends, Val and Joan, to the entire ordeal. (It's one thing to subject oneself to a comic marathon; it's quite another to subject one's innocent friends.) I owe them--BIG TIME.

It wouldn't have been bad if most of the comics were funny, but most of them weren't. And as they were mostly young white men, they covered very similar territory--and a lot of it wasn't exactly girl-positive (another reason Val and Joan's valor was much appreciated). The good news is I thought about telling my boss about the show, but decided it was probably for the best that I didn't--too bad I didn't extend the same courtesy to Val and Joan.

And I noticed that most of the comics didn't stick around after their time was done--which meant by the time I got up there, the room was almost empty. Once I opened my set, however, some people came in from the bar, so at least Val and Joan weren't alone. I think I did okay, but I was so tired and embarrassed (for what I was subjecting Joan and Val to), I don't really remember.

Yup--another walk on the tedious side, thanks to the joy that is The Comedy. Sigh.

Tonight is Jennifer's open mic, but I doubt I'll be going--between the prep for tomorrow's procedure and my liquid-only diet, I don't think I'll be in the mood. I think one should do comedy on a full stomach.

But then, I think I should do everything on a full stomach. That's the Podolske way.

One last thing--realized last night that for all my travels and experimentation over the years, my food tastes are pretty darn pedestrian. In fact, if I were forced to choose a "last meal," the main course would likely be pizza. Linda told me I was on my own for dinner last night, and I knew it was going to be my last solid food for about a day-and-a-half, so I thought long and hard about what I wanted to eat. And the first thing I thought of was pizza. Pepperoni pizza, no less.

However, I'm not a complete Philistine. If it was truly my last meal, I'd want to have pistachio creme brulee for dessert. That would be a last meal that would definitely make imminent death a little easier to take....