I have a minor little gig tonight, emceeing a musical benefit. That I have never emceed before (except at a talent show during a retreat--for a group who believes spirituality and talent are not mutually exclusive), did not bother the rep from the organization benefiting from the benefit, so I said I'd do it.
Of course, I'm regretting that decision now. There are many things that could go wrong, true, but it could also go right--the folks at the charity are very laid-back (at least according to the aforementioned rep), so I'm going to strive for that state of being, too. I'm also supposed to stick to emceeing--no comedy. Of course, I expect to inject a comment or two, for why ask a comic to emcee if you want no comedy?
It's no big deal, really--I had a show as recently as last night, so I got The Comedy out of my system. It went well, but for a very drunk woman towards the front who demanded every comic's attention. Well, of course, that meant she eventually became every comic's target, and I'm almost ashamed to say, I joined the fray. But it was so perfect, the opportunity she provided, I couldn't not jump in....
What was it, you wonder? Well, I find explaining jokes tough sledding, but let's say I used my line about being popular as a straight girl--"I was young, had long blonde hair, and a drinking problem. If that doesn't spell 'popularity,' I don't know what does!"--and used the drunk woman (who, bless her, happened to have long, blonde hair) as a case in point. The crowd roared, and I think even the woman found it funny.
Thank goddess! It was a risky move (for me), and it paid off. Whew!
Well, I must get going. We're having the water turned on today at the cottage, so we can retire the porta potty till the winter, brush our teeth, shower, and so forth. Hygienic happiness will soon be ours....
Friday, April 29, 2005
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Adieu, Dodge Magnum.....
Hello, Pontiac Vibe!
Yes, I traded in my brand-new Inferno Red midlife crisis mobile for a mini-SUV in a color called Moonstone (sort of a metallic brown, like my hair).
Sensible? You bet! A little sad? Ditto!
Saw a black Magnum while running errands today in my oh-so-sensible car and felt a pang--a pang!
That's rather embarrassing, isn't it? I'm emotionally attached to my former car. What am I, 45 going on 16?!
Of course, it may not be the car--it's more likely what it represented: Financial freedom, security, and FULL EMPLOYMENT.
Yes, I was emotionally attached to all of that. (Who wouldn't be?) At this time, it helps for me to remember that I didn't L-U-V the job I am watching fade away, but I certainly L-U-V'd the pay.
That said, even with a (still) fairly full work load, I have managed to get 10 resumes out to prospective employers, and have queried a few of my professional contacts as to their need for freelance help. No nibbles, yet, but it's way early--I've been at this job hunting business a little over a week, so it's a little soon to worry.
Right?
No, you're absolutely right: It's not too early to worry--it's never too early, is it? I've been worrying up a storm for over a week now, and I firmly believe I HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO WORRY. The worst worries are those that wake me up at 3:15 a.m. Have had about three of those in the past week.
Worries aside, losing (most of) my job has given my sense of well-being a real boost. I have been touched by the support I'm getting from Linda, my family of origin, friends, and coworkers. Got a call from an editor I haven't worked with for years yesterday--she had just heard the news and gave me a pep talk about my "crazy skills." Another editor sent me a job posting she found on the Internet that she thought I'd be perfect for--and indeed, it looked good, so I sent in a resume.
Spoke to my last remaining aunt and uncle in Wisconsin on Sunday (they've owned a Vibe for a couple of years and I wanted to see how they felt about it--they loved it, I'm happy to report). Well
they were very sweet and supportive and I consider them my golden age cheerleading squad.
And Linda, she gave me a card over the weekend that bore the inscription, "I believe in you, I know you'll find a way no matter what!"
Right back atcha, Sweetie--all of you, in fact.
Yes, I traded in my brand-new Inferno Red midlife crisis mobile for a mini-SUV in a color called Moonstone (sort of a metallic brown, like my hair).
Sensible? You bet! A little sad? Ditto!
Saw a black Magnum while running errands today in my oh-so-sensible car and felt a pang--a pang!
That's rather embarrassing, isn't it? I'm emotionally attached to my former car. What am I, 45 going on 16?!
Of course, it may not be the car--it's more likely what it represented: Financial freedom, security, and FULL EMPLOYMENT.
Yes, I was emotionally attached to all of that. (Who wouldn't be?) At this time, it helps for me to remember that I didn't L-U-V the job I am watching fade away, but I certainly L-U-V'd the pay.
That said, even with a (still) fairly full work load, I have managed to get 10 resumes out to prospective employers, and have queried a few of my professional contacts as to their need for freelance help. No nibbles, yet, but it's way early--I've been at this job hunting business a little over a week, so it's a little soon to worry.
Right?
No, you're absolutely right: It's not too early to worry--it's never too early, is it? I've been worrying up a storm for over a week now, and I firmly believe I HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO WORRY. The worst worries are those that wake me up at 3:15 a.m. Have had about three of those in the past week.
Worries aside, losing (most of) my job has given my sense of well-being a real boost. I have been touched by the support I'm getting from Linda, my family of origin, friends, and coworkers. Got a call from an editor I haven't worked with for years yesterday--she had just heard the news and gave me a pep talk about my "crazy skills." Another editor sent me a job posting she found on the Internet that she thought I'd be perfect for--and indeed, it looked good, so I sent in a resume.
Spoke to my last remaining aunt and uncle in Wisconsin on Sunday (they've owned a Vibe for a couple of years and I wanted to see how they felt about it--they loved it, I'm happy to report). Well
they were very sweet and supportive and I consider them my golden age cheerleading squad.
And Linda, she gave me a card over the weekend that bore the inscription, "I believe in you, I know you'll find a way no matter what!"
Right back atcha, Sweetie--all of you, in fact.
Monday, April 25, 2005
What fresh hell is this?
If ever there were a time for Dorothy Parker's wit and wisdom, this is it.
This morning, I found a voice mail on my office phone that was left yesterday from the remaining publisher at my soon-to-be-partial employer.
May I say that in the 14 years I have toiled for this outfit, I have never received a weekend call. (One of the benefits of the publishing biz is that there are no emergencies--one certainly doesn't go into it for the money/prestige!)
The home office is aflutter about a publication that didn't get done last week. I am going to try to finish it off first thing today, but wonder: Did they expect me to work as well as I always have the week I learn they're letting (most of) me go?
As my friend Jennifer is wont to say, "The humanity!"
Fresh hell, indeed!
This morning, I found a voice mail on my office phone that was left yesterday from the remaining publisher at my soon-to-be-partial employer.
May I say that in the 14 years I have toiled for this outfit, I have never received a weekend call. (One of the benefits of the publishing biz is that there are no emergencies--one certainly doesn't go into it for the money/prestige!)
The home office is aflutter about a publication that didn't get done last week. I am going to try to finish it off first thing today, but wonder: Did they expect me to work as well as I always have the week I learn they're letting (most of) me go?
As my friend Jennifer is wont to say, "The humanity!"
Fresh hell, indeed!
Friday, April 22, 2005
Feeling better now...
Do wonder about myself at times. Was gripped with sadness and despair yesterday, yet today I feel hopeful--excited, even.
Thursday: See Ann. See Ann sob. Sob Ann, sob.
Friday: See Ann. See Ann giddy. Giddy, Ann, giddy.
Here's the thing: Just got back from my friend Hilary's house, and she and her partner Amy have me all revved up about doing The Comedy in P-town. I have been wondering if this job drama/trauma is my HP's way of saying, "Would you think about doing something else for a change?" (To paraphrase my bit on erectile dysfunction--I'd explain, but life's too short.) I have spent a good 20+ years (!) of my life editing, and it may be time to do something else--not to the exclusion of editing, perhaps, but in addition to it.
It may be feasible, it may not. That remains to be seen, but the prospect of a combination editing-comedy career cheers me up like nothing else that has happened this week, and I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.
What a week, eh?!
Thursday: See Ann. See Ann sob. Sob Ann, sob.
Friday: See Ann. See Ann giddy. Giddy, Ann, giddy.
Here's the thing: Just got back from my friend Hilary's house, and she and her partner Amy have me all revved up about doing The Comedy in P-town. I have been wondering if this job drama/trauma is my HP's way of saying, "Would you think about doing something else for a change?" (To paraphrase my bit on erectile dysfunction--I'd explain, but life's too short.) I have spent a good 20+ years (!) of my life editing, and it may be time to do something else--not to the exclusion of editing, perhaps, but in addition to it.
It may be feasible, it may not. That remains to be seen, but the prospect of a combination editing-comedy career cheers me up like nothing else that has happened this week, and I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.
What a week, eh?!
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Sadness descending....
The events of the week are starting to sink in. I may soon no longer be working in shorts and a t-shirt, a snoring dog at my feet. I may have to leave my beasts each morning and return in the late afternoon/early evening as countless other people do, leaving the dogs' mid-day romp to dog sitters, not me. I'm almost weeping at the prospect.
I know for a fact I will soon be reporting to someone besides my dear "boss" (he never liked that word) and friend Lee. That brings tears to my eyes and onto my keyboard.
Change is inevitable, true. But sometimes change just sucks. And this change Sucks the Big One, as we used to say in high school.....
I know, I know--this too shall pass, and if one door closes, another soon opens. It's just I haven't been in life's hallway like this for a long, long time, and I'm not very happy about it. I'll get over it, not to worry....
I know for a fact I will soon be reporting to someone besides my dear "boss" (he never liked that word) and friend Lee. That brings tears to my eyes and onto my keyboard.
Change is inevitable, true. But sometimes change just sucks. And this change Sucks the Big One, as we used to say in high school.....
I know, I know--this too shall pass, and if one door closes, another soon opens. It's just I haven't been in life's hallway like this for a long, long time, and I'm not very happy about it. I'll get over it, not to worry....
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Ch-ch-ch-changes....
Well, yesterday was a Monday for the record books--my boss was let go, my colleague and managing editor was let go (and she's 70), and I, too, apparently will be seeing much less work (like, say, 63% less) from my publisher.
Woo!
So, I guess it's time for me to start job hunting, something I haven't done since, say, 1990. Yes, 1990. I've been lucky, this I know--so, the question becomes, "What exactly do I want to do with this odd grab-bag of skills and interests I've developed over the past 25 years in the workaday world?"
That's today's question. If I don't have any good prospects in about three months, the question will become, "Who will pay me the most to do something--anything--to keep kibble in my babies' mouths?!"
Here's hoping it doesn't come to that. Linda, goddess bless her, has already discussed the worst-case scenario (her speciality) with me, and it looks like this--I lose the car, we lose the cottage, and everything else is the same. In other words: Things could be a LOT worse.
Yet tonight I'm meeting with a couple comic friends to discuss The Comedy--this could be a challenge, no? Have some new material on Bush's tax cuts finally "trickling down" to my level--yep, when you lose your job, your tax burden goes waaaaaaaay down....
Yes, I need to work on that.
So, that's the big news this week. Here's hoping things don't get much more interesting than that (though I am going to talk to the president of my company this morning and that could be an experience the likes of which I may need to discuss). We shall see....
One last thing: Can you believe what a linguistic chameleon I am (see entry below)? I'm more Yankee than Midwestern these days, and that just seems wrong--and where did that Southern bit sneak in from? The farthest south I've ever lived was Chicago!
Guess that's what happens when you move around a lot...and drink heavily....and move around some more....
Woo!
So, I guess it's time for me to start job hunting, something I haven't done since, say, 1990. Yes, 1990. I've been lucky, this I know--so, the question becomes, "What exactly do I want to do with this odd grab-bag of skills and interests I've developed over the past 25 years in the workaday world?"
That's today's question. If I don't have any good prospects in about three months, the question will become, "Who will pay me the most to do something--anything--to keep kibble in my babies' mouths?!"
Here's hoping it doesn't come to that. Linda, goddess bless her, has already discussed the worst-case scenario (her speciality) with me, and it looks like this--I lose the car, we lose the cottage, and everything else is the same. In other words: Things could be a LOT worse.
Yet tonight I'm meeting with a couple comic friends to discuss The Comedy--this could be a challenge, no? Have some new material on Bush's tax cuts finally "trickling down" to my level--yep, when you lose your job, your tax burden goes waaaaaaaay down....
Yes, I need to work on that.
So, that's the big news this week. Here's hoping things don't get much more interesting than that (though I am going to talk to the president of my company this morning and that could be an experience the likes of which I may need to discuss). We shall see....
One last thing: Can you believe what a linguistic chameleon I am (see entry below)? I'm more Yankee than Midwestern these days, and that just seems wrong--and where did that Southern bit sneak in from? The farthest south I've ever lived was Chicago!
Guess that's what happens when you move around a lot...and drink heavily....and move around some more....
Well, whattaya know?
Your Linguistic Profile: |
| 45% General American English |
| 25% Yankee |
| 15% Upper Midwestern |
| 10% Dixie |
| 5% Midwestern |
What Kind of American English Do You Speak?
Saturday, April 16, 2005
How did this happen?
I'm painting again. We have a house the size of a postage stamp, but I'm wearing my painter's white pants and splattered-with-paint men's shirt and waiting for the primer to dry.
It's amazing how long it takes to paint a tiny, tiny house. And how BORING it is--again, I find myself wondering, "How did my father do this for a living?" I also understand why he ate bowls of ice cream the size of small building after a day on the job--if I had to do that every day, you bet I'd have a big ol' incentive waiting for me at the end. (And, as my father before me, ice cream would definitely be my treat of choice.)
The good news is, once I finish the kitchen walls, I am off the house painter's hook until fall, when we start in on the bedrooms.
For it is cottage season at long last--we're heading out there today (after I put a coat of paint over the primer, mind you). So no more house chores!
Unfortunately, that doesn't mean there aren't any cottage chores to do--I'll be painting the deck out there sometime soon, mark my words. So springtime means I switch from being a house painter to being a cottage painter. Sigh.
Do love this home-ownership business (it beats living in an apartment with noisy neighbors and no dogs), but it has a downside. It's called: NO FREE TIME.
Ah--the primer's dry. Time to get back to work. Happy weekend to you all......
It's amazing how long it takes to paint a tiny, tiny house. And how BORING it is--again, I find myself wondering, "How did my father do this for a living?" I also understand why he ate bowls of ice cream the size of small building after a day on the job--if I had to do that every day, you bet I'd have a big ol' incentive waiting for me at the end. (And, as my father before me, ice cream would definitely be my treat of choice.)
The good news is, once I finish the kitchen walls, I am off the house painter's hook until fall, when we start in on the bedrooms.
For it is cottage season at long last--we're heading out there today (after I put a coat of paint over the primer, mind you). So no more house chores!
Unfortunately, that doesn't mean there aren't any cottage chores to do--I'll be painting the deck out there sometime soon, mark my words. So springtime means I switch from being a house painter to being a cottage painter. Sigh.
Do love this home-ownership business (it beats living in an apartment with noisy neighbors and no dogs), but it has a downside. It's called: NO FREE TIME.
Ah--the primer's dry. Time to get back to work. Happy weekend to you all......
Friday, April 15, 2005
A quote for our times....
I must say, every so often a quote comes up that sums up what's going on so well it bears--no, demands--repeating. This is from the economist John Kenneth Galbraith:
"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness."
This from the man who also gave us the gem: "In the long run, we're all dead."
Thanks to Molly Ivins (another sage) for unearthing this quote--it appeared in her oh-so-timely Working for Change article, "You're Getting Screwed: Tax changes that missed the headlines impact your bottom line." If you want a little moral indignation to go with your day, go to http://www.commondreams.org/views05/0415-24.htm for the full story.
"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness."
This from the man who also gave us the gem: "In the long run, we're all dead."
Thanks to Molly Ivins (another sage) for unearthing this quote--it appeared in her oh-so-timely Working for Change article, "You're Getting Screwed: Tax changes that missed the headlines impact your bottom line." If you want a little moral indignation to go with your day, go to http://www.commondreams.org/views05/0415-24.htm for the full story.
When it works....
Had a great show last night in Connecticut despite my misgivings earlier in the day. (Shows what I know--for the 2,459th time, eh?)
The audience was mostly women on a "girl's night out," and happily, they were glad to see yours truly (they weren't so accommodating to the comic who came before me, so I was a little nervous). They even liked my line about gay marriage, "Give me equality or give me a god-damned dyke deduction!" A minor miracle.
The emcee, Darren (?--I am so bad at names it kills me), chalked it up to the it being "hate men" night at the club (which, considering that the audience laughed uproariously at the women comics and sort of kept to themselves when the men were up, we all found hilarious).
Because it was (sort of) the truth.
To top it all off, I had a lovely burger and fries before the show, so I was happy no matter what.
A fulfilling day in the life of a part-time comic, indeed.
The audience was mostly women on a "girl's night out," and happily, they were glad to see yours truly (they weren't so accommodating to the comic who came before me, so I was a little nervous). They even liked my line about gay marriage, "Give me equality or give me a god-damned dyke deduction!" A minor miracle.
The emcee, Darren (?--I am so bad at names it kills me), chalked it up to the it being "hate men" night at the club (which, considering that the audience laughed uproariously at the women comics and sort of kept to themselves when the men were up, we all found hilarious).
Because it was (sort of) the truth.
To top it all off, I had a lovely burger and fries before the show, so I was happy no matter what.
A fulfilling day in the life of a part-time comic, indeed.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Rockin' robins....
There were two pudgy--and I mean ROTUND--robins in one of our dogwood trees this morning, and Linda thought they might be expecting.
Pregnant robins in the front yard--if that doesn't say "Spring," I don't know what does!
It's been sunny and beautiful, if a little cool, and life is good. Have had too much work this week to really go out and enjoy the spring, but I hope to make up for this over the weekend. We're going to take our maiden spring voyage out to the cottage, have a little cookout, and maybe even launch the kayaks (if the lakes are open, that is). We might even spend the night, but as we don't have running water yet, that's a big MIGHT. (Not that I'm a princess, mind you, but I do like my daily shower.)
Have a comedy show tonight, and I don't have any idea of how much time I have or what, exactly, I'm going to do. Need to mix things up a little, that's for certain, for I'm a little bored--BORED--at the prospect.
Of doing comedy?! (That can't be good, can it?)
Here's hoping it's some sort of sophomore slump or something. I'm in year two of The Comedy, after all--the initial rush is past, and now it's getting a little more real.
And, I must admit, I am still annoyed at a comic who slammed the UCONN Huskies women's basketball team Saturday night. If he were a bigger man (and I mean that in every way possible), they wouldn't threaten him, but apparently, they do.
Cheap shot, anyway.
But then, I pick on poor, defenseless homophobes, so am I any better?
You bet your bippy, as they used to say on "Laugh In"....
Pregnant robins in the front yard--if that doesn't say "Spring," I don't know what does!
It's been sunny and beautiful, if a little cool, and life is good. Have had too much work this week to really go out and enjoy the spring, but I hope to make up for this over the weekend. We're going to take our maiden spring voyage out to the cottage, have a little cookout, and maybe even launch the kayaks (if the lakes are open, that is). We might even spend the night, but as we don't have running water yet, that's a big MIGHT. (Not that I'm a princess, mind you, but I do like my daily shower.)
Have a comedy show tonight, and I don't have any idea of how much time I have or what, exactly, I'm going to do. Need to mix things up a little, that's for certain, for I'm a little bored--BORED--at the prospect.
Of doing comedy?! (That can't be good, can it?)
Here's hoping it's some sort of sophomore slump or something. I'm in year two of The Comedy, after all--the initial rush is past, and now it's getting a little more real.
And, I must admit, I am still annoyed at a comic who slammed the UCONN Huskies women's basketball team Saturday night. If he were a bigger man (and I mean that in every way possible), they wouldn't threaten him, but apparently, they do.
Cheap shot, anyway.
But then, I pick on poor, defenseless homophobes, so am I any better?
You bet your bippy, as they used to say on "Laugh In"....
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Worst suspicions confirmed
My Linda and I, living in Massachusetts as we do, discussed the option of getting married a bit (we've been together over a decade, so we are well past the "rush to the altar" phase of development). We did not approach it as a testament to our undying love (please), but rather as something that might offer enough benefits to make jumping through yet another bureaucratic hoop (we're also domestic partners in NYC and partners to a civil union in Vermont, so we know from bureaucratic hoops) worthwhile.
Well, it wasn't. The last straw was a panel discussion on gay/lesbian marriage hosted by a local law firm, which appeared to be suggesting that getting married was a lot more trouble than it was worth.
Well, they were right--and this was validated by a cover story in yesterday's Daily Hampshire Gazette. It offered a blow-by-blow of the hassles facing "married" gay and lesbian couples (the onus of filing as married in Mass while filing as single for the IRS, which doesn't recognize queer unions), as well as a lovely chart showing everything that "married" gay and lesbian couples don't get as compared to heterosexual married couples.
A discouraging confirmation of our suspicions, but a confirmation nonetheless.
So, we'll just stick with being domesticated and civilized, and leave the marrying to straight folks. Sigh.
And I'm going to keep working on my comedy bit about getting a dyke deduction, once I can figure out how to make it funny rather than furious (which is where I get stuck with such things--same reason I can't make funny about G.W. Bush).
Speaking of funny re G.W., we watched Whoopi Goldberg's HBO special last night, and she had some great bits on him, his cabinet/advisers, and the whole "moral values" crowd. Her imitation of Condi Rice's smile was priceless (and her explanation for it was funny, if revolting). Watch it. See what I mean....
Well, it wasn't. The last straw was a panel discussion on gay/lesbian marriage hosted by a local law firm, which appeared to be suggesting that getting married was a lot more trouble than it was worth.
Well, they were right--and this was validated by a cover story in yesterday's Daily Hampshire Gazette. It offered a blow-by-blow of the hassles facing "married" gay and lesbian couples (the onus of filing as married in Mass while filing as single for the IRS, which doesn't recognize queer unions), as well as a lovely chart showing everything that "married" gay and lesbian couples don't get as compared to heterosexual married couples.
A discouraging confirmation of our suspicions, but a confirmation nonetheless.
So, we'll just stick with being domesticated and civilized, and leave the marrying to straight folks. Sigh.
And I'm going to keep working on my comedy bit about getting a dyke deduction, once I can figure out how to make it funny rather than furious (which is where I get stuck with such things--same reason I can't make funny about G.W. Bush).
Speaking of funny re G.W., we watched Whoopi Goldberg's HBO special last night, and she had some great bits on him, his cabinet/advisers, and the whole "moral values" crowd. Her imitation of Condi Rice's smile was priceless (and her explanation for it was funny, if revolting). Watch it. See what I mean....
Monday, April 11, 2005
Happy Birthday dear beastie!
This will be lost on people who don't have animals (or animals they adore, anyway), but my first dog Shwea turned eight today--eight! Can't believe it's been that long since I first picked her sleeping carcass up off the vinyl floor of the kitchen in her Southampton birthplace.
Yes, she was sleeping then, and she's sleeping now. (Not a live wire, that Shwea). So far, we've celebrated by counting off nine banana slices (one for each year and one to grow on) and popping them into her waiting/gaping mouth. (She loves her bananas. Loves watermelon more, but it's too early in the season for such delicacies.) Dunno what else we'll do to mark the occasion, but I have an idea it may involve the steak leftover from last night's supper. (It was a little tough, but of course, Shwea won't care--she's easygoing where such things are concerned.)
Happy birthday, girl, and many happy returns!
On other fronts, I had a very good show at the Elks club on Saturday night, even though the crowd looked a lot like the folks at the Chinese restaurant who gave me pause. The moral of the story is that you never can tell, I guess (you'd think I would have learned that by now, and not just from The Comedy).
Never said I was quick, did I? (My picture could be above "slow learner" in the dictionary, though it might be more appropriate to stick my picture about the phrase "late bloomer.")
If I bloomed much later, I'd be dead.
Have a lot of work facing me since I was away in NYC or prepping for my colonoscopy most of last week, so it's going to be a whirlwind five days--and I have a show Thursday night. Time to get busy....
Yes, she was sleeping then, and she's sleeping now. (Not a live wire, that Shwea). So far, we've celebrated by counting off nine banana slices (one for each year and one to grow on) and popping them into her waiting/gaping mouth. (She loves her bananas. Loves watermelon more, but it's too early in the season for such delicacies.) Dunno what else we'll do to mark the occasion, but I have an idea it may involve the steak leftover from last night's supper. (It was a little tough, but of course, Shwea won't care--she's easygoing where such things are concerned.)
Happy birthday, girl, and many happy returns!
On other fronts, I had a very good show at the Elks club on Saturday night, even though the crowd looked a lot like the folks at the Chinese restaurant who gave me pause. The moral of the story is that you never can tell, I guess (you'd think I would have learned that by now, and not just from The Comedy).
Never said I was quick, did I? (My picture could be above "slow learner" in the dictionary, though it might be more appropriate to stick my picture about the phrase "late bloomer.")
If I bloomed much later, I'd be dead.
Have a lot of work facing me since I was away in NYC or prepping for my colonoscopy most of last week, so it's going to be a whirlwind five days--and I have a show Thursday night. Time to get busy....
Saturday, April 09, 2005
All better (or close enough).
Slept in but good this morning (almost till 10:00!), and woke up feeling close to my old self. Think just about all of the chemicals are out of my system, as is most of the air out of my lower intestine (sure hope so--have a comedy benefit tonight and don't want to have to worry about subterranean blasts in the midst of it all).
Took a walk with Linda and the dogs today, too--wasn't able to do that for the past week, between being out of town then being on a heavy laxative schedule. It's a gorgeous time of year--warm enough to wear very light clothing, but not warm enough for all of the bugs to come to life--and I'm enjoying it while it lasts.
Haven't really worried too much about tonight's show--am most concerned about finding the place, an Elks Club in the wilds of Connecticut. Have been remembering my dad's Elks Club for the past hour or so--it wasn't just an Elks Club as far as I was concerned, it was an after-school program. Dad would take me there after school so he could both do his baby sitting duties and get some cribbage and cocktails in with the "boys"--Dr. Z and Big Howie--till supper time. I would sit a barstool or two away, drinking my Orange Nehi and Rocky Road chocolate bar, playing dice or Solitaire until Mom called and asked us to come home. Sometimes Bruno the bartender would play with me--he was a sweetheart, and perhaps planted the seed of fondness for bartenders that I have until this very day.
Waxing nostalgic over an Elks' Club--yes, it's come to this (blame the colonoscopy, if that makes you feel better).
Took a walk with Linda and the dogs today, too--wasn't able to do that for the past week, between being out of town then being on a heavy laxative schedule. It's a gorgeous time of year--warm enough to wear very light clothing, but not warm enough for all of the bugs to come to life--and I'm enjoying it while it lasts.
Haven't really worried too much about tonight's show--am most concerned about finding the place, an Elks Club in the wilds of Connecticut. Have been remembering my dad's Elks Club for the past hour or so--it wasn't just an Elks Club as far as I was concerned, it was an after-school program. Dad would take me there after school so he could both do his baby sitting duties and get some cribbage and cocktails in with the "boys"--Dr. Z and Big Howie--till supper time. I would sit a barstool or two away, drinking my Orange Nehi and Rocky Road chocolate bar, playing dice or Solitaire until Mom called and asked us to come home. Sometimes Bruno the bartender would play with me--he was a sweetheart, and perhaps planted the seed of fondness for bartenders that I have until this very day.
Waxing nostalgic over an Elks' Club--yes, it's come to this (blame the colonoscopy, if that makes you feel better).
Friday, April 08, 2005
Well, it wasn't the worst thing that's ever happened....
Happy day, the colonoscopy is over--and the dear doctor didn't find a thing on his trip through Ann's Colonland: Yippie! Am still a wee bit wozy and as gassy a lassie as you'll ever meet, but otherwise I feel fine (considering I also have my period, of course).
Yup, Mother Nature came to town just before my procedure (isn't she swell?), so I was never sure if the cramps I was having while being, uh, investigated were due to the colonoscopy or dear Aunt Flo. They were plentiful, though, so perhaps it was some sort of tag-team effort. Very uncomfortable. Very.
And when the nurse kept telling me to breathe deeply through each cramp, I tried, but it didn't seem to do a hell of a lot of good. Don't remember too much else (and pray I wasn't whiny--I hate whiny).
Discomfort aside, I'm just glad it's over and peace of mind is mine--at least until the next one. Unfortunately: Though I was under the impression that colonoscopies are once-every-decade affairs, the doctor told me he suggests an every-five-years schedule.
Come to think of it, 2010 does seem a lifetime away--goddess willing, Aunt Flo will be kinder next time (if not out of town permanently).
Yup, Mother Nature came to town just before my procedure (isn't she swell?), so I was never sure if the cramps I was having while being, uh, investigated were due to the colonoscopy or dear Aunt Flo. They were plentiful, though, so perhaps it was some sort of tag-team effort. Very uncomfortable. Very.
And when the nurse kept telling me to breathe deeply through each cramp, I tried, but it didn't seem to do a hell of a lot of good. Don't remember too much else (and pray I wasn't whiny--I hate whiny).
Discomfort aside, I'm just glad it's over and peace of mind is mine--at least until the next one. Unfortunately: Though I was under the impression that colonoscopies are once-every-decade affairs, the doctor told me he suggests an every-five-years schedule.
Come to think of it, 2010 does seem a lifetime away--goddess willing, Aunt Flo will be kinder next time (if not out of town permanently).
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Nothing says the bloom is off the rose....
...quite like a colonoscopy! That's my own deranged take on the procedure that I will be undergoing tomorrow. In a word: AIEEEEE!
Am on a liquid/jell-o/Gatorade diet today, which is not a bad thing, considering I was in NYC Monday-Wednesday and didn't exactly eat like a sparrow. I ate a lot of wonderful foods, and even though I have a head cold and couldn't taste flavors as well as I would have liked, everything I ate was delicious!
Took some pills at 10:00 a.m. that are going to start the "cleansing" process--figure I'd better blog before they work their magic, for from what I've heard, I won't be spending much time in my office soon.
But for the cold, New York was great--saw some friends, got some useful info at the conference, and even tried an open mic. It was very much like the "too many cooks" open mic Jennifer and I attended last month, with me getting a spot near the end of a long line of comics--the main difference being I subjected two of my friends, Val and Joan, to the entire ordeal. (It's one thing to subject oneself to a comic marathon; it's quite another to subject one's innocent friends.) I owe them--BIG TIME.
It wouldn't have been bad if most of the comics were funny, but most of them weren't. And as they were mostly young white men, they covered very similar territory--and a lot of it wasn't exactly girl-positive (another reason Val and Joan's valor was much appreciated). The good news is I thought about telling my boss about the show, but decided it was probably for the best that I didn't--too bad I didn't extend the same courtesy to Val and Joan.
And I noticed that most of the comics didn't stick around after their time was done--which meant by the time I got up there, the room was almost empty. Once I opened my set, however, some people came in from the bar, so at least Val and Joan weren't alone. I think I did okay, but I was so tired and embarrassed (for what I was subjecting Joan and Val to), I don't really remember.
Yup--another walk on the tedious side, thanks to the joy that is The Comedy. Sigh.
Tonight is Jennifer's open mic, but I doubt I'll be going--between the prep for tomorrow's procedure and my liquid-only diet, I don't think I'll be in the mood. I think one should do comedy on a full stomach.
But then, I think I should do everything on a full stomach. That's the Podolske way.
One last thing--realized last night that for all my travels and experimentation over the years, my food tastes are pretty darn pedestrian. In fact, if I were forced to choose a "last meal," the main course would likely be pizza. Linda told me I was on my own for dinner last night, and I knew it was going to be my last solid food for about a day-and-a-half, so I thought long and hard about what I wanted to eat. And the first thing I thought of was pizza. Pepperoni pizza, no less.
However, I'm not a complete Philistine. If it was truly my last meal, I'd want to have pistachio creme brulee for dessert. That would be a last meal that would definitely make imminent death a little easier to take....
Am on a liquid/jell-o/Gatorade diet today, which is not a bad thing, considering I was in NYC Monday-Wednesday and didn't exactly eat like a sparrow. I ate a lot of wonderful foods, and even though I have a head cold and couldn't taste flavors as well as I would have liked, everything I ate was delicious!
Took some pills at 10:00 a.m. that are going to start the "cleansing" process--figure I'd better blog before they work their magic, for from what I've heard, I won't be spending much time in my office soon.
But for the cold, New York was great--saw some friends, got some useful info at the conference, and even tried an open mic. It was very much like the "too many cooks" open mic Jennifer and I attended last month, with me getting a spot near the end of a long line of comics--the main difference being I subjected two of my friends, Val and Joan, to the entire ordeal. (It's one thing to subject oneself to a comic marathon; it's quite another to subject one's innocent friends.) I owe them--BIG TIME.
It wouldn't have been bad if most of the comics were funny, but most of them weren't. And as they were mostly young white men, they covered very similar territory--and a lot of it wasn't exactly girl-positive (another reason Val and Joan's valor was much appreciated). The good news is I thought about telling my boss about the show, but decided it was probably for the best that I didn't--too bad I didn't extend the same courtesy to Val and Joan.
And I noticed that most of the comics didn't stick around after their time was done--which meant by the time I got up there, the room was almost empty. Once I opened my set, however, some people came in from the bar, so at least Val and Joan weren't alone. I think I did okay, but I was so tired and embarrassed (for what I was subjecting Joan and Val to), I don't really remember.
Yup--another walk on the tedious side, thanks to the joy that is The Comedy. Sigh.
Tonight is Jennifer's open mic, but I doubt I'll be going--between the prep for tomorrow's procedure and my liquid-only diet, I don't think I'll be in the mood. I think one should do comedy on a full stomach.
But then, I think I should do everything on a full stomach. That's the Podolske way.
One last thing--realized last night that for all my travels and experimentation over the years, my food tastes are pretty darn pedestrian. In fact, if I were forced to choose a "last meal," the main course would likely be pizza. Linda told me I was on my own for dinner last night, and I knew it was going to be my last solid food for about a day-and-a-half, so I thought long and hard about what I wanted to eat. And the first thing I thought of was pizza. Pepperoni pizza, no less.
However, I'm not a complete Philistine. If it was truly my last meal, I'd want to have pistachio creme brulee for dessert. That would be a last meal that would definitely make imminent death a little easier to take....
Monday, April 04, 2005
Not the best of times, not the worst of times...
Had a just okay show at Jimmy Tingle's Off Broadway last night. Part of it was whatever is causing me to feel as though I have a brick lodged in my sinuses (I'm beginning to suspect allergies rather than a cold), part of it was the fact that there were more comics than there were people in the audience.
Linda thought it might be because the women's NCAA final four semi-finals were last night, but I'm not so sure. (It certainly wasn't because of "The L Word"--it had to be one of the worst episodes I've ever seen....and that's saying a lot, trust me!)
In sum: It's not easy doing The Comedy for seven people, especially with a head full of stuffing.
But otherwise, it was a good night. Well, except for Jennifer, who had to cancel due to a stomach virus she picked up just as she was starting to feel more human after her horrible cold (whenever I feel bad about my stuffed-head syndrome, I think of poor Ms. Myszkowski's ailments and realize I don't have it so bad). Jennifer did manage to contribute mightily to the night anyway, for she suggested directions that we were able to follow without a hitch.
And I was driving!
It's a minor miracle folks, and also a testament to my friend and navigator Holly Givens, who was ready, willing, and able to go off to Boston with me on a moment's notice. What a trooper!
And while I wasn't thrilled with my performance, I was asked back for the month of May--so that means something (good, I hope). Holly was invited back, too.
So, all things considered, it was a good night. Though I must admit, I'm happiest about driving to Boston and back without any drama/trauma.
I think it's the car....
Won't be posting for the next couple of days--I'm off to NYC, and that means work during the day, and catching up with old friends during the night. In other words: It's not the sort of trip one drags a laptop along on--won't have time for such things. Am going to try to go to an open mic on Tuesday night--will report on that upon my return Wednesday.
Till then--all good!
Linda thought it might be because the women's NCAA final four semi-finals were last night, but I'm not so sure. (It certainly wasn't because of "The L Word"--it had to be one of the worst episodes I've ever seen....and that's saying a lot, trust me!)
In sum: It's not easy doing The Comedy for seven people, especially with a head full of stuffing.
But otherwise, it was a good night. Well, except for Jennifer, who had to cancel due to a stomach virus she picked up just as she was starting to feel more human after her horrible cold (whenever I feel bad about my stuffed-head syndrome, I think of poor Ms. Myszkowski's ailments and realize I don't have it so bad). Jennifer did manage to contribute mightily to the night anyway, for she suggested directions that we were able to follow without a hitch.
And I was driving!
It's a minor miracle folks, and also a testament to my friend and navigator Holly Givens, who was ready, willing, and able to go off to Boston with me on a moment's notice. What a trooper!
And while I wasn't thrilled with my performance, I was asked back for the month of May--so that means something (good, I hope). Holly was invited back, too.
So, all things considered, it was a good night. Though I must admit, I'm happiest about driving to Boston and back without any drama/trauma.
I think it's the car....
Won't be posting for the next couple of days--I'm off to NYC, and that means work during the day, and catching up with old friends during the night. In other words: It's not the sort of trip one drags a laptop along on--won't have time for such things. Am going to try to go to an open mic on Tuesday night--will report on that upon my return Wednesday.
Till then--all good!
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Mother Nature's run amok
We went walking today by the Mill River, and woo, was the water high. We had to walk far up and away from the usual trails, since they all were well under water. I was freaking, fearing that one of my furry friends was going to be swept away, but happily, everyone behaved themselves.
Except Linda, who threw a ball out far enough for it to get swept away, and Shwea almost went in hot pursuit.
That would have been the end of Shwea (and perhaps, Linda).
Otherwise, I woke up feeling a little less than perky--okay, less perky than usual--but am now feeling better. Still, am looking forward to tonight's show in Somerville. Here's hoping it all goes well! (Or legs are broken, we kill, or whatever those lovely showbiz expressions are....)
Except Linda, who threw a ball out far enough for it to get swept away, and Shwea almost went in hot pursuit.
That would have been the end of Shwea (and perhaps, Linda).
Otherwise, I woke up feeling a little less than perky--okay, less perky than usual--but am now feeling better. Still, am looking forward to tonight's show in Somerville. Here's hoping it all goes well! (Or legs are broken, we kill, or whatever those lovely showbiz expressions are....)
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Hostile, if accommodating
Despite some pushback on my material, I had an overall good show last night in Winchendon--which, according to a local, is also known as "Winchentucky." Wondered about all the pickup trucks in the parking lot--and the "Bush for President" bumper sticker didn't exactly warm my heart.
Yeah, they were really primed for a recovering alcoholic lesbian act, let me tell you!
The beauty part is I didn't give a damn what they thought. Is this a sign of progress on the self-esteem front, or reckless disregard for personal safety? I hope it's the former, for I felt blissfully unmoved by the reaction to some of my material.
And listening to my recording this morning, the times where the crowd drew back were more than compensated for by the times they lost their little minds. Homophobic, but in hysterics--can't help but like that.
The irony to me is that this was a benefit for a used/abused/abandoned animal shelter--from dogs to horses to whatever. So, these people love the heck out of animals of all shapes and sizes, but a human being suggests there may be more than one way to be human, and they draw back in horror.
Or silence. (Same thing if you're a comic, IMHO.)
Oh well, I did 15 minutes and they were good. It was wonderful prep for my show tomorrow in Sommerville with Jennifer.
If I could just shake this throat thing (my voice is still in the lower registers), life would be perfect.
But this is good.
Yeah, they were really primed for a recovering alcoholic lesbian act, let me tell you!
The beauty part is I didn't give a damn what they thought. Is this a sign of progress on the self-esteem front, or reckless disregard for personal safety? I hope it's the former, for I felt blissfully unmoved by the reaction to some of my material.
And listening to my recording this morning, the times where the crowd drew back were more than compensated for by the times they lost their little minds. Homophobic, but in hysterics--can't help but like that.
The irony to me is that this was a benefit for a used/abused/abandoned animal shelter--from dogs to horses to whatever. So, these people love the heck out of animals of all shapes and sizes, but a human being suggests there may be more than one way to be human, and they draw back in horror.
Or silence. (Same thing if you're a comic, IMHO.)
Oh well, I did 15 minutes and they were good. It was wonderful prep for my show tomorrow in Sommerville with Jennifer.
If I could just shake this throat thing (my voice is still in the lower registers), life would be perfect.
But this is good.
Friday, April 01, 2005
Not out of the woods yet....
Woke up feeling much more human this morning, but had a voice that suggests I have somehow been smoking a pack-and-a-half a day without my knowledge.
Besides being stunned at the memory of smoking like a chimney (I easily doubled that consumption on drinking occasions, and as I've noted, there were several of those in the bad ol' days), I am still a little wary as to my health. It does feel as though I will successfully vanquish this bug in time for tonight's and Sunday's performances, not to mention Monday's travel, but I'm not counting on it.
Being the superstitious type, I'm not going to put this belief in my future well-being into declarative sentence form: That would be asking for it. BIG TIME. (Like bronchitis on top of sinus infection asking for it, in case you're wondering.)
The good news is my voice can warble up into the higher registers (almost into Aunt Bea territory--if you don't know who Aunt Bea is, ask one of your elders), so losing an octave or two to a cold is not bad news for me or for the people who have to listen to me speak.
Which, goddess willing, they'll be doing in Winchendon tonight. Better go get some work done, so I can flit off tonight work-anxiety free....
Besides being stunned at the memory of smoking like a chimney (I easily doubled that consumption on drinking occasions, and as I've noted, there were several of those in the bad ol' days), I am still a little wary as to my health. It does feel as though I will successfully vanquish this bug in time for tonight's and Sunday's performances, not to mention Monday's travel, but I'm not counting on it.
Being the superstitious type, I'm not going to put this belief in my future well-being into declarative sentence form: That would be asking for it. BIG TIME. (Like bronchitis on top of sinus infection asking for it, in case you're wondering.)
The good news is my voice can warble up into the higher registers (almost into Aunt Bea territory--if you don't know who Aunt Bea is, ask one of your elders), so losing an octave or two to a cold is not bad news for me or for the people who have to listen to me speak.
Which, goddess willing, they'll be doing in Winchendon tonight. Better go get some work done, so I can flit off tonight work-anxiety free....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
