Anybody home?

I'm beginning to wonder if something is happening to my resumes/cover letters as they wend their way to prospective employers. Is "Dear Mr. [Hiring Manager's Name]" somehow being revised to read "Dear Mr. Snub-Nosed Sea Pig"?

Or is my list of particulars being similarly morphed into insults to myself or others? Does my ability to "conceive, edit, and write a broad array of management publications" become my ability to "fabricate, obfuscate, plagiarize, and toss together cheesy, useless products that nobody reads"?

What else could be going on here? My goddess, I have serious skills, people, and they're being ignored on a tragic (for me) scale.

Linda is sensing my despair. She sent me an e-mail today telling me basically to visualize a successful job hunt, as opposed to what I have been doing: Visualizing my descent into abject poverty. So here goes:

"I am sitting at my desk, looking at so many great job offers that I don't know which one to take. The reason being they are all great. Of course, I'll easily choose the one that is best for me.

"I am working with great colleagues and for a boss I really enjoy and with whom I like to work. I am doing work I love and am paid a salary that is beyond my wildest dreams. And I have a very short commute to and from work."

That about covers it, eh? Let's see if this helps....