Believe it: There's no place like home.

Especially compared to Florida. Hot, sticky, Republican, over-crowded, strip-malled, big-bugged (and how) Florida.

The family part of this trip was uneventful, thank goddess. They all seemed to be on their best behavior, which was good (who cares what they say after we go home?). It was a hoot to see an alligator floating in the water with just his bumpy head and snout sticking out, just like in the comics. It was also wonderful to see egrets and pelicans and a number of birds I couldn't pick out of a lineup, but were cool nonetheless.

It wasn't cool to see so many Bush-Cheney bumperstickers. It wasn't cool to drive on four-lane highways that seemed to be crowded all the time. It wasn't cool to have no access to organic fruits or vegetables. (It also wasn't cool to come home to a rejection letter, but I digress.)

But otherwise, it was a very successful trip. We came, we saw, we got the hell outta there before state officials found out big dykes were in town.

Altogether now: Whew!