Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Exercise in futility wins!

Well, that was a gigantic waste of time and energy. Stood in line over 13 hours, but didn't get a chance to audition. The rumor going in was that the line would begin forming in earnest around 2:00 a.m. We got there "early" at 1:30 a.m., and saw the line was already snaking around the corner from the entrance.

Apparently, the reality was the line began forming a little before midnight.

As the organizers of the audition offered no concrete information, rumor and speculation (the information vacuum's constant companions) swept through the ranks of comics like The Wave at a football game.

And it was cold. Freezing, in fact. If my boss hadn't lent me a sleeping bag for the occasion, I may be missing a digit or two right now.

"Last Comic Standing" would be more aptly named "First Comic Standing," IMHO, for it was more of an endurance contest a la "Survivor" than a comedy contest.

And the elements were only part of what needed to be survived. There were hoards of young white men in the line--scads, gads and buckets! And those I could hear (or could not help but hear, I should say) seemed to be quite obsessed with not looking/sounding gay.

In Chelsea! (Good luck with that.)

Seriously, there was an advert on the side of a phone booth for a gay dating service, and I (couldn't help but) overhear one herd of young bucks critique the ad: "Why do they have to look like that!? Why does his finger have to be looped in the other guy's belt?! IT JUST LOOKS SO GAY!"

I repeat: In Chelsea!

Rather like obsessing over burkas in a strict Muslim country. Could only imagine these boys saying things like: "Lookit that girl! She's covered up! She's got nice eyes--why does she have to look like that? She's probably a hottie!"

Methinks the days of seeking out exercises in futility are now behind me. Enough creep into my life without my bidding--why go looking for disappointment? (Not to mention situations that guarantee an extra-creaky carcass for the next week!!)


But I'm home. And I took a shower and will soon be going to bed.

Ready for another day--with a show in Cambridge at its end. At last--a chance to perform--and Chris O'Carroll is in the lineup! This could be fun!

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