Thursday, April 26, 2007

New poster child for Planned Parenthood!

We had our Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day today, and all that running/standing around and shepherding little darlin's to the loo or the next session took the stuffing right out of me.

I expected it to be a mad, hectic day, which it was. What I did not expect was to have a boy in the 10-12 year-old-range say, "Up yours!" to me.

This charming phrase was uttered by the little whelp because I had the audacity to tell him and his three friends to (1) quit picking on the girls in the row ahead of them and (2) move back a row, so they'd be far enough away from the girls so they'd have to leave them alone.

If children are our future, the future's looking a little snarky.

Seriously, when I was in the 10-12-year-old range, I may have thought the occasional rude thought about a grown-up, but I sure as heck wouldn't say it. Out loud. At my parent's place of work, for pity's sake.

I only hope the little so-n-so didn't insult any of the other volunteers.

Oh well, that bit of business was depressing, but that may largely be my fatigue talking. The day was a success overall, for which I am very grateful.

But will I volunteer for a whole day of "Daughters and Sons" again? Not if I can help it....

Maybe if it went back to just being for "Daughters"--that I would do! (At least until little girls start saying, "Up yours!" to grownups, that is.)

Sunday, April 22, 2007

What a difference a day made...







Really looked at the work that was done on our kitchen counter tops, and am now wondering what I was smoking yesterday (nothing at all, but sometimes my sense does take quite a holiday). It looks like the sort of job you'd expect from a couple of kids left alone with power tools for an afternoon, not something done by a professional. I offer some photos for your consideration, if you find renos gone wrong of interest.

Needless to say, I think we're in for another bit of kitchen drama--the stove, obviously, was but a warm-up. Sigh.

One could almost get wistful about the "good old days" when one was a renter, but those were really not-so-hot days, punctuated with the boot stomps and bad music choices of neighbors above and to the side of one's hovel.

At least that's how I recall life in my last studio in the East Village.

So, a stove debacle and a countertop flop are small prices to pay for quiet. At least that's what I say now. Will I retain my calm as we try to get free of this mess? We shall see....

Friday, April 20, 2007

Sigh.

Well, that was humbling.

One would think I had a head the size of the Great Outdoors from all of the humility that was shown my way yesterday.

The nursing home was just what one would expect, but the facility and staff appeared much better than I had feared from the advance reading I had done. (Maybe they're under new management?) The Comedy at the Home, however--well, that went about as poorly as it usually does with this sort of crowd, but I am glad to report that I had moments of fun in spite of the long, slow twist I had in front of the slack-jawed masses. Boney and Nikki helped make it much less of a soul-crushing enterprise.

Aside: I was instructed to get a MySpace site toute de suite, despite my contention that I am far too "mature" for a presence on this venue. The Word, according to Boney and Nikki, comics with far more experience than I, is that one must have a MySpace site to "sell one's wares" in the comedy marketplace.

Something will have to give if I do that--this blog or my pathetic web site (gee, which way do you think I'm leaning with this decision?).

As for the contest? Well, I did okay set-wise, but not well enough to get advanced to the next round. At least the two guys who got spots had original, funny material--and one was even a fellow asthmatic who does hilarious jokes about the condition. (Who knew there was comedy in lung disease?) The best thing that happened at this event was that the audience was quiet when I was telling my jokes--I mean, they laughed at the right spots and all, but they listened when I spoke.

That was not a courtesy they extended to most of the other comics, and while it's not much, it's something to be grateful for....

Yeah, I know. Slim pickin's....

On the home front, we're having a new countertop put in our kitchen (the old one looked too sad with the pretty new stove upon it), and work is not exactly going smoothly. A large piece of Formica has been damaged beyond repair, and there are little scuffs and dings and who-knows-what-all throughout the kitchen.

It could be a disaster, and of course, Linda already thinks it is a disaster. Me, I am holding out hope that somehow our contractor will somehow pull it together and the finished product will be fabulous.

Perhaps I'm in a little denial here, but I think I'd rather be in denial that in high lather. I'm too tired for high lather....

Thursday, April 19, 2007

TONIGHT: Valley of Laughter Comedy Contest

Since I can't seem to help myself, tonight I will be at Brennan's Place 173 High Street Holyoke, MA 01040 to participate in the new comedy contest dreamt up by Dan the Librarian (or at least I think it's his brainchild--pardon me if I've missed somebody).

If you can't make it (I understand that the allure of an Irish bar in Holyoke may be questionable to most of my friends, particularly the GLBT and sober ones), please pray for me, or a reasonable facsimile.

The good news? According to her blog, Erin Judge will be there, too--she's funny and she's female, so I'm feeling better about doing this. For now.

On other fronts, I have a gig at a nursing home tonight, too (yes, the blessings are raining down on my noggin'). The bad news is that the place has a rather dicey reputation--the first Google entry had to do with how ill-treated the residents are--the good news is if anyone needs a laugh, it's people living in a crappy nursing home.

I'm just hoping the residents don't all look like my mother. That was the case at the last home I tried to make The Comedy in, but it just couldn't happen under those circumstances.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

My nephew Harry


The critter who rules the roost at my brother and sister-in-law's house in D.C. They do his bidding at every turn.


Can you blame them?

Silly snow birds!


Springtime in New England, courtesy of some local ravenous finches.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Spring is here....

...and a not-so-young woman's fancy turns to a new blog template.

What do you think?

The stove. It's outta here!

And I still can't quite believe it.

But the appliance store people came by yesterday to pick up the wrong stove and drop off a check for the right amount to cover the charge that I imagine will now be released onto our credit card.

Or something.

It doesn't really matter. The stove fiasco is O-VAH!

May you, too, someday know the satisfaction of this sort of victory.

Small, but oh-so-satisfying.

Now, I must prepare for a three day weekend, thanks to our friend, Jesus.

(At least that's what my mother-in-law said in her recent card to us.)

Happy what-have-you!

Sunday, April 01, 2007

I am milquetoast, hear me roar (maybe)

It appears the saga of the stove on our back porch may soon have a happy ending.

No, I can't quite believe it, either. In fact, I'm almost afraid to note this possibility here, for I am so sure the owners of the appliance store will change their minds back to "Hell no, the stove won't go!" again.

My last salvo in the stove situation was on Thursday, when I sent the store a copy of my SuperPages.com and Better Business Bureau reviews, along with a note quoting Dale Carnegie (one unsatisfied customer = 10 lost sales). But I had sent similar "inspirational" missives to them before--and even had the dear people from the consumer affairs division of the District Attorney's office calling on our behalf--and they were unmoved.

So, when I listened to our voice mail yesterday, and one of the messages was from the store--asking to schedule a time to pick up the stove and drop off a check--I had Linda listen to it, too, for I couldn't quite believe my ears.

Truly, I have no idea if my latest letter did the trick--perhaps they heard from the credit card company, perhaps someone called them to say they heard about our situation and it kept them from shopping at the store.

Who knows?

It doesn't matter. What does matter is that our back porch may soon have a lot more room in it, and our kitchen might soon have a new stove that actually fits in the old stove's spot, not to mention matches the rest of the appliances. Woo!

And what has been a thorn in my side may soon be an accomplishment of no small measure. To me, anyway. (We Midwestern types don't get our assertive on very often, and do so at great peril to our agreeable little psyches.)

Being a rather cynical sort as well as Midwestern down to my marrow, if this does come to a good end...no one will be more surprised than I!

On other fronts, we went to a Don McLean concert last night, a reward courtesy of Big Company (it's a big sponsor of the local symphony, so has season tickets to spare). We went largely because it was free and offered a good excuse to eat at Cafe Lebanon--not because we're big fans of Mr. American Pie. When his band came out--all late middle-aged men in suits, except for the drummer--I was a little worried. And when the drummer--who was dressed like a 20-year-old, but with a full mane of silver hair--had to put on his glasses to read the introductory music, I thought to myself, "Oh goddess, what's this going to be? Lawrence Welk for Boomers?!"

Well, I was mistooken. We had a great time. Don M. is a tremendous performer, even though he is definitely on the wrong side of 50. His voice was perfect, and his lyrics as evocative as any I've heard in ages. And he has the sort of self-deprecating wit that makes his genius less daunting. True, he has a worrisome comb over that suggests a vanity at odds with the wonderful human being he seems to be, but who doesn't have an inconsistency (or several) in this life?

The song about Van Gogh, "Vincent" ("Starry, starry night....") was a highlight, but then, his rendition of "Crying" was a killer, too.

This weekend has been full of surprises, eh? Will keep you posted regarding the stove--it's supposed to happen Wednesday afternoon. We shall see....