Truer words....

My dear, departed mother, who could turn quite a phrase, often said, "Once you hit 40, it's patch, patch, patch."

Considering my recent spate of repairs, a friend of mine suggests I work on material regarding a "Patch-a-Thon."

My friend, you may have guessed, is younger than I am. My decrepitude is amusing as all heck to the whippersnapper, but to this ol' Dykesaurus? Phooey!

Seriously, I guess I don't really mind so much. Intimations of mortality are nothing new for this battered soul. But the old joke about how I would have taken better care of myself if I had known I was going to live this long has been occurring to me. Over and over again.

In the messy span that was my youth and young adulthood, I didn't expect to live much past 30. Today, I'm 17 years older than that.

Yeah, recovery is grand, but enduring--well, it can be a pain.

Let's review: I had a root canal in 2001 or so, only to have it fail last year. (Yes, the same year that I lost most of my job and was prescribed a colonoscopy, but let's not go there) I had a procedure that was supposed to fix said failure, but I learned just recently that it failed, too. So, the tooth has to come out.

Once six months have passed, I get to have an implant. There may be a joke in here someday, when I actually do get the implant and I can ask people if they can tell I've had some work done, but that may be pushing it.....

Now, my eyes have decided to slip quite a bit, enough so that I need "progressive" lenses. While I love the name, the reality is that the longer I wear them (I just got them today), the more tired and nauseous I become.

That's not progress.

Of course, this is supposed to pass--but then again, so am I!

Ah, there's always a bright spot, isn't there?

Actually, there is. I may be getting some time over at one of my favorite Boston-area clubs. There's nothing official to report, but there's hope.

And that is the best news I have. That and the fabulous "Girls, Girls, Girls!" is coming up on the 30th, and so are my brother and sister-in-law. Should be quite a show and quite a weekend.

But now, I must walk the beasts.