Musings on "cripes"

My Comedy Buddy and coworker Jennifer noted the use of "cripes" at work lately. Seems she's not the only one musing about it. The following is from My Little Sister's Humorous Sayings site:

On Cripes:
My wife's from the Midwest. Very nice people there. Very wholesome. They use words like 'Cripes'. 'For Cripe's sake.' Who would that be, Jesus Cripe's? The son of 'Gosh' of the church of 'Holy Moly'? I'm not making fun of it. You think I wanna burn in 'Heck'?

Me neither!

On other fronts, that may be the root of a problem I'm having today. My dear brother's 60th birthday is coming up, and I am having a Heck of a time writing an appropriately snarky birthday card for him. Even though he would definitely have no qualms doing the same for me.

My attempts have ranged from twists on classic song lyrics ("He ain't elderly, he's my brother...") to mild encouragement ("But Eric Clapton and Susan Sarandon are in their 60s, and they're still cool"), but none of it is working.

I've also contemplated a "remember the time you" approach, but we have almost 50 years of history, so that would get out of hand in a nano.

Oh well. The card must get in the mail, so I'm just going to have to run with something, and soon. It ain't easy being mean.....

Started out well....

Though I usually spare myself any exposure to the Prevaricator in Chief, I couldn't help but see the first few minutes of the State of the Union address.

Couldn't believe that it began with a moment of grace--his acknowledgement of the historic nature of his uttering, "Madame Speaker."

I was stunned. Was this the same GWB I've endured lo these many years? Where's the snarl? The smirk?

They were both disabled. Just temporarily, it turns out, but hey--it was a moment.

Then he proceeded to lecture the Congress on the need for bipartisanship (now that the GOP is no longer in power, it's time to play nice), to stop adding set-asides to bills under the cloak of darkness (now that the GOP is no longer in power, it's time to be above-board), and to generally start doing the opposite of what the GOP has been doing for the past several years.

With the possible exception of supporting the President in everything he does. No matter what.

Anything less is giving aid and comfort to the enemy. Terrorists. 9-11.

(You know, the usual suspects.)

Sigh.

But he did open well, didn't he?

Oh, happy day!

After thinking I had somehow messed up with the man himself when actually I was just using an old e-mail address, Rick Jenkins just gave me a nice round of new dates at his legendary club in Cambridge, The Comedy Studio. Woo-eee!

I've been in what can charitably called a dormant period where the comedy is concerned, so this is a wonderful development. True, I've done a show or two here and there, but not much has been really shakin'. Methinks the no-longer-new job was partially at fault--it's taken quite a while to adjust to this getting-showered-and-dressed-and-driving-to-work business, I'm embarrassed to say.

The ridiculous amount of dental work I've had of late made life less than funny, too.

And while the dental work is ongoing (and I believe will now be a recurrent theme, if I truly face facts), my will to do The Comedy is coming back.

Besides, Linda has been giving me comedy ideas lately. She seems to think I should be writing new material, and has been shopping ideas with me for the past few days (she took the week off, so has had time to think about such things).

Am trying to be charmed by her interest, but not always successfully.

But I do agree I've had enough time to adapt to being a corporate commuting drone. Comedy, watch out!!!!!

Gird your loins....

Whenever I hear a comic say something along the lines of, "You know, I have nothing, nothing at all against gay people, but..." I know I'm about to hear gays mocked, mimicked, defiled and generally put through the ringer.

It's as though saying, "I have nothing against [fill-in-the-blank]" offers a comic carte blanche to say anything, anything at all about whatever group is in the blank.

Not that one hears, "You know, I have nothing against black/Jewish/Asian/Mexican/Your Ethnicity Here people, but..." much anymore, at least not up in this supposedly liberal neck of the woods, but the fag card? It's played early and often, mostly by male comics.

Desperate ones in particular.

Like the man I heard use the "I have nothing" defense last night. The fact is, he was African American, and that made it particularly hard to take. If a guy like that doesn't grasp bigotry as a concept, who the heck does?

But perhaps it's only bigotry if it applies to him. In these "What about me?" times, that's probably it. Some days, it seems most of us only have compassion for what we see in the mirror, and then, only if we're lucky.

I'm as guilty of self-centeredness as any human, though I try each day to expand my circle of concern and compassion to include all I meet, at the very least. Not always successfully, this I know.

But you know, the comic last night was struggling, and perhaps his shtick was that of a desperate man. He did a lot of crowd work, which usually signals a comic without much material. And what he did have wasn't working. I can have some compassion for that, for I know that feeling all too well.

Still, last night I did what I haven't done to a comic since I started doing comedy myself. I walked out in the middle of his set, never to return. He was trashing what had been a nice night out for me and my gal, and we have both worked too hard to be who we are to put up with that kind of nonsense.

Kinda makes a gal wish she lived in lesbianland.

Oh, wait a minute--I do! That's what I get for venturing out of town, eh?

It's not a DIET, it's a LIFESTYLE

Yes, I've returned to the hallowed halls of the weight loss kingdom, and no, it wasn't my idea. It was Linda's. However, a recent photo (see above) made me see the wisdom of this quest.

Cripes!

Now I'm not trying to get fit and trim--deprivation is involved in that look for me, and I don't do deprivation (obviously). The thing is, I don't want to get too big for my britches, and that is starting to happen.

In other words: My fitness is not an issue, but as a person who (a) hates to shop and (b) hates to spend money on corporate drag, my burgeoning, increasingly uncomfortable middle is becoming an issue.

A shopping issue.

So, back on the WW wagon I go, fully expecting to lose enough weight to feel less pinched. Here's hoping I meet my goal before the slogans (see above) send me screaming for the door.

True, I belong to another program that clutches tired old cliches to its bosom, but somehow WW is different. Not quite as reality-based. It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle?! I'm not going to WW to change my lifestyle, honey--it's just fine.

To be fair, a person can go years--decades, even--without drinking alcohol, but not without eating. Perhaps a little denial makes sense under this condition. I dunno.

But I do know I don't want to spend any more of my hard-earned moolah on easy-care slacks, so off to WW I go.....

Happy New Year!

I think it's safe to say the new chaise is a hit. The new camera's not bad, either! (Though the photographer could use some work.)