Ah, Corporate America. I just came home from a day-long meeting to find that I have run afoul of a language policy. Little ol' me, Ann Podolske, daughter of an English teacher, Midwestern to the marrow and rule-follower to the nth degree, has crossed a line.
A simple line.
We are supposed to keep our communications simple, and that is a wonderful aim. A lot of what used to be distributed in the name of communication at Big Company was as engaging as a last will and testament. Of the stodgy, old school, our-verbal-density-is-the-sign-we-mean-business school of writing. Not engaging in the least.
So we all need to strive to avoid stodginess. Verbal diarrhea. Denser-than-lead sentences.
Got it! Endorse it!! You're signing my song!!!
But how simple is simple? Well, that's today's question, because I used the phrase "veritable cornucopia" to describe a newsletter, and that phrase was decreed not simple enough.
Am guessing the word "veritable" was the culprit, but who knows? I've had the word "cornucopia" drilled into my brain since childhood, as it features heavily in every story of the first Thanksgiving I've ever heard. But maybe people don't hear about cornucopias any more.
Is that it?
Harrumph.
I'm guessing I should have said, "There's a lot of good stuff in the newsletter." Or maybe: "Lots inside!"
But I'm not writing copy for Wal-Mart, I'm writing for professionals in a major corporation.
Professionals who can't grasp words like "veritable" and "cornucopia," in the opinion of one reviewer. I thought they could handle it.
Who's right? Well, they are, I guess. They changed the sentence, and I should report here what they changed it to, but I can't. Right. Now.
Am trying to think happy, positive thoughts, remember? ("The Secret" tells me so.)
So let me get this out: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!
Now I feel better.
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