Shwea has joined the family

Ann's dear dog Shwea became very ill and had to be put to sleep on Friday, July 30th. She was with her dear Aunt Mary, Deb and Barb, in her own home. She went very peacefully, she was so weak and tired. She is now with Ann, Linda, Linus and the rest.

'Courage when years become days'

The Rev. Andrea Ayvazian penned a column about Ann's last days, which ran in the Daily Hampshire Gazette on Tues., July 27, 2010.

1559 Pierce Avenue

Ann painted this watercolor of her childhood home, 1559 Pierce Avenue, after which she named this blog.

Remembering Ann Podolske

Here's a seven-minute video of Ann Podolske performing at the Comedy Studio in Harvard Square, Cambridge, Mass. Ann started performing at the Studio in 2005. This clip is from Nov. 15, 2008.

Ann Podolske, We Hardly Knew Ye (1959-2010)

Ann passed away today, June 5, 2010 at noon. She was at peace, surrounded by family and friends.

The visitation will be held on Saturday, June 12, 2010 from 4 to 7 p.m. at Ahearn Funeral Home, 783 Bridge Road, Northampton, Mass.

A celebration of Ann's life will take place on Sunday, June 13, 2010 at 1:30 p.m. at the Haydenville Congregational Church, 143 Main Street, Haydenville, Mass. All are welcome (the Bombshell will be there too!). Refreshments will be served immediately following.

Ann wrote her own obituary, which will appear in the Hampshire Gazette and Springfield Republican at some point in the next few days.

In lieu of flowers, donations in Ann's name can be made to one or more of her favorite organizations: PFLAG or Haydenville Congregational Church.

Jennifer Myszkowski will be posting some of her comedy on YouTube and will post a link here.

xx00,

Ann's family, friends and the Bombshell

she's still hanging on

Friends-

Ann is still hanging on, visiting with friends, but declining. When possible, we read your posts to her and she appreciates them. She is surrounded by friends and family, full of love and support.

When you post a reply, please include your name, since not all have been showing up!

Val

Love to you all: June 1, 2010

It looks as though my kidneys have taken a major turn for the worse, and what looked liked weeks may now be days. Maybe a day.

Yesterday offered such an array of bad news, I don't know where to begin, but the details don't really matter--I'm dying far sooner than I thought. Yesterday the doctors gave me 1-3 days, and I will likely be slowly dying. From kidney disease caused by the multiple myeloma.

Please know I am not afraid of dying. What I am is is sad that I am going to be missing a big chunk of this wonderful, messy, loving and beautiful thing we call life.

To those of you who are friends reading this for the first time after I died, I'm sorry. I've been working on it, but I couldn't help it. Sorry!

Put my obituary today today, so look for it in the Daily Hampshire Gazette in early June, friends.

My friend Val will be updating this re regarding this regarding the funeral and such.

Thank you so much for your support and love over the course of my illness. Love to the nth to you all, Ann and the Bombshell

The timing is good

Happily, my transfusions came to pass today, and I felt a boost afterward that carried me to lunch with Mary afterwards. We went to Bread Euphoria (my second time this week), which is fabulous.

My dear onc was supposed to see me while in the hospital, but he had to reschedule for tomorrow. He did have good news, so I don't mind--they drew blood before the transfusions and the numbers I need up to have some radiation were kind enough to go up!

So, tomorrow I have my first local radiation appointment, and while that's an odd thing to be happy about, I am. My lower back has begun to hurt more than a little, and in my limited experience, radiation reduces tumor pain nicely. The pain patch that was doing the trick is losing some of its power over the pain being generated by the growing tumors, so I'm trying a little of the morphine they prescribed for "break-through" pain (why they need these terms I can't tell you). Anyway, I took some earlier this week and it made me feel loopy and lousy (L&L), even though I shaved the suggested dose down quite a bit. Decided I'd rather hurt a little than feel L&L, you know? But today it hurt enough I tried another, smaller, dose, and I think it's helping. And no loops. (Well, out of the ordinary.)

Speaking of such things, my onc removed a pill from my ridiculously long roster today, which is welcome news. Taking pills seems to take up a lot of my day, so one less down the hatch is welcome.

Well, that's the big news. Hope you've had some good news yourself, and I'll have more coming soon. Hey, you never know. XO, Ann and Shwea

Belated update from a slightly deflated balloon

Sorry I've been on the quiet side, but it reflects what's going on--or not, actually--here. My energy level is still at a very low ebb, and it takes everything I've got just to walk myself out to the car (with a walker, for pity's sake).

This week the walks have just been for medical business, too--blood work at the local hospital and my local onc on Monday, the hospital today.

The tropical temperatures don't help, mind you, for heat saps me on a good day. But still, my get up and go.....

Worst is that today's trip was for naught, for adorable and promising as I think my new onc is, his office didn't order the right type of blood for today's planned transfusions. So, Karen dutifully dragged me up to the hospital, the nurse started my port, and then...we were sent back home. Sigh.

But I had her leave the port accessed, so this will remain a "one-poke" event (a very good thing), and I'm back on the schedule tomorrow at 8. Mary will be taking me this time, bless her. Here's hoping!

Since I don't have much energy, I'm really glad that the French Open is on--always love watching tennis, so I don't feel too bad about being a slug. Am also sooooo glad Linda and I decided to have central air installed when we bought this house, even though we thought it was a bit extravagant. Silly, even. Not this week, eh?

Other highlights this week include another Whopper, courtesy of my new burger-eating buddy from church; the arrival of the HDTV I decided I needed in the back bedroom (handy gal Karen set up the TV and Blue Ray for me; the HDTV cable box arrives next week); the return of Carmella and Barbara (and the pups) today (someone to watch over me makes certain family/friends very, very happy); and the arrival of treats from my cousin Mary and her Glenn (cookies!!) and an enormous array of fruit from sister Beth. (Sounds like a balanced diet to me.)

So I'm a bit pooped, but it may suggest the chemo is doing what it's supposed to, so for this I am grateful. Alas, doing what it is supposed to is a bit rougher business with this particular treatment, so it seems my deflation makes sense. And it's temporary.

Well, I think this is more than enough for one entry! Love to you from me and the incredibly inert blond mass we know as Shwea. xo, A

Accomodation day

When they said they were going to set me up with a comfortable chair at church, they weren't kidding. I sat in a vintage (over 30 years' old) Lazy Boy--with my feet up--at the end of the aisle, with a direct view of Pastor Andrea and the choir.

And I was silly comfy the whole time. How many churches would do that for the likes of me, I ask you? Incredible.

In the afternoon, I was visited by a group of sober friends who held a meeting in my home. I haven't been able to get to meetings for ages, perhaps since Linda got sick, so when this was offered to me I jumped at it. It was just what this gal needed, truly.

Then my cousin Pat, who I haven't spoken to in ages, called, and the day was complete. (Things are looking up for her, and that's the kind of news I can never get too much of.)

That's not all that happened today--Mary came by to tend the Bombshell and made me a sandwich, bless her heart. She also investigated the basement on my behalf, as I have promised not to toddle down there alone.

Last night around midnight, my hot water heater kicked in for a long run--since it's only supposed to run on demand, it was odd that it began running when I was in bed. Mary couldn't find anything, so I'm going to call the plumber to see if it "self cleanses" or some such nonsense on occasion.

Oh well, isn't there always something?

Signing off from a fabulous day, xo, Ann and Shwea

Happy, happy joy, joy! Oh, and silly.

While some days are not so great, some days (or portions thereof) were good. Great, even.

Thursday was a down, down day, but Friday was much, much better. Jo came by for a good visit in the morning. We talked about how her family was going to take in the Bombshell if my timeline is what it appears to be--she'll need a new home, and they are going to do make life very rich and interesting for our gal. At least that's how I hope it works out--hey, you do what you can and hope for the best, eh?

Then Pastor Andrea came by with lunch, and we talked about what's going on and what the church can do to aid and abet yours truly (for one thing, I'm going to have a comfortable chair to sit in tomorrow--hey, I am not one for special treatment, but my dear body can't sit in those pews) and to pray.

Then, because I hadn't had enough prayer and introspection, I had a session with my therapist, who has an incredible perspective on illness that helps so much now.

Boy, I sure know how to have a good time, eh?

Not to worry, my last event of the evening was that Barbara and Carmella took me out to a double-header lesbian film series at the Academy in town. There was a documentary called (I think) "Edie and Theya: A Long Engagement" followed by a hilarious documentary on a New Zealand phenom called "The Top Twins." One made me cry, one made me laugh--the Twins are going to be in town June 12, and I highly recommend you go see them. Country humor and silliness--by two big ol' lesbians. What's not to love? (I'd go, but it's going to be the sort of mob scene I'm supposed to avoid these days.)

Today has been another recovery day, but happily I'm not as flattened out as I was on Thursday. Barbara and Carmella went back to their new home outside of Boston today. Sorry to see them go, but they need to get their lives going on in earnest again. Can't' believe the stellar job that Carmella did a in the basement--it's like a whole new house down there! And Barbara took such lovely care of us all, Shwea included. Am going to miss them, but I think I'm good on my own for a while, anyway.

Before they left, Val and Joan came by to organize me even more (who knew it was possible?). Sky and Karen came by to check in on me, because they can't help themselves (and are so adorable about it), and now I'm home alone with the best dog ever. Oh, and Val--a sworn cat person--gave Shwea her big walk tonight, which I never would have believed if I hadn't seen it myself. What a sweet pea!

Watched yet another silly movie tonight--the "Tooth Fairy," of all things--and it was definitely a light bit of business, but I like that Rock fellow and Ashley Judd? Toss in Julie Andrews, and well.....

Rough day at the ranch

Today has been a low numbers day, and so I've been feeling low. Had two sets of doctors' appointments today and it wiped me right out--slept most of the afternoon and evening. Am now trying to take my last pills so I can go to sleep. A bleah day, alas.

Good sandwich! Appointments? So-so

Goddess bless Karen for making the drive to Boston today, for the weather was iffy and the traffic terrible. We were over a half-hour late to our appointments today, but it just couldn't be helped.

And we went out there for a procedure I can't have right now, anyway, so it wasn't a necessary Boston trip, after all. My blood counts are too low right now for any extraordinary procedures, apparently. Here's hoping we find that sort of thing out before we make the big trip next time (for Karen's/my driver's sake, if no one else). The best news was that they thought I could try to go without oxygen for a while--I may just wear it at night, but I might just avoid it altogether for as long as I can. We shall see....

I must say, however, I enjoyed my lunch today as I have not enjoyed lunch in ages. With apologies to my vegetarian and vegan friends, I had a cheesesteak sandwich and fries with a Coke at the MGH cafeteria that was just the thing. Heaven!

Then came home to find that my dear friends had the courage to cook the monster lasagna that has been filling the freezer lo these many days, perhaps weeks. Such brave souls!!

As for tomorrow, I get some radiation and meet with my local oncologist for the first time. So right now, TV beckons, and who can blame me? W/love from yours truly and the Blond to End All Blonds.

Haircut with (fu manchu) oxygen

Another good day

The drug I'm taking to reduce swelling appears to be working, for I woke up with even smaller feet than yesterday (hooray!). Still larger than usual, but I didn't feel as though I was lifting such serious weight when getting out of bed this a.m., which is good.

Slept late, for it is a perfect day for it--gray and overcast. Right now it's raining, which means holding down furniture is the job for now. I did take a slight walk out to the mailbox (woo!) after lunch, but that was about it. Tomorrow features a series of appointments in Boston, so I'm enjoying today's sloth while I may.

Barbara's in the kitchen making some sort of chicken curry deliciousness for dinner, Carmella's got a phone interview, and Shwea is snoozing (she's had supper already, what else should she be doing?). She had a rough day, as she and Max had a brief "discussion" during lunch that was upsetting for us all, but they seem to have worked things through for now--Shwea never did share for beans, even when she had a full-time brother, Linus. He deferred to her in all things, but Max hasn't learned that's the best way to go around here, and I don't expect him to--I think it's good for my Bombshell to have to share a little, even if she doesn't think so. (She'd be dialing the MSPCA if she could, this I know.)

As for me, I've been looking at TVs on the Internet, as I think I'd like to set up one in the back bedroom, but am having a heck of a time choosing a size/type of TV. It's crazy out there! Anybody have any suggestions regarding brands or sizes (I'm guessing HDTV is a must), do tell. I'm thinking 32 inch Sony Bravia right now, but am open to suggestion.

On other fronts, Val reports that United Airlines allowed me to cancel another flight due to illness, bless their hearts. I was supposed to visit my Aunt Lib in Nebraska during a family get-together this weekend, but as we know, circumstances rather got in the way of that plan. She's my mother's last living sibling, and is a hoot, so I'm sorry to miss this trip. And don't ask me if I feel worse about this trip than missing California and Hawaii in February--that wouldn t be fair.

So, that's the scoop for today. Hope all's well where you are, too, xo, Ann & Shwea

Monday can be fun, really

Had myself a major hair cut today, as my hair has been falling out a bit, and I wanted to beat it to the punch. Many thanks to Carmella, Barbara, Hilary and Ellen for their efforts in giving me quite the cut. Crew cut, but what's a girl to do? I love the fuzzy feel of my noggin', even if I have a slightly stark look. No pictures yet, but I'll let you know if one of the gals comes forth with one or two.

Didn't have the "fun" of a doctor's appointment today, but have a couple to look forward to later this week.

Speaking of fun, many, many thanks to sistah Joan for enduring the idiocy of eTrade on my behalf. She's helping me try to wrap up Linda's finances, and eTrade has been the lone holdout among Linda's "holdings," seeming to go out of their way to keep us from closing Linda's account there and moving on.

Oh well, t'is always something. And today, thankfully, it doesn't appear to be my health--I feel pretty darn good, today, actually, and am looking very forward to tonight's supper (Babs is cooking burgers!). Yum!

What a weekend!

My first weekend home has flown by, largely because I have been busy, busy, busy. Am so glad it's possible for me to be busy, busy, busy--that was by no means a sure thing not too long ago.

Had visiting dignitaries from D.C. (bro Lew) and NYC (friend Ellen), as well as a wonderful array of local friends stop by, and I can't think of a better way to be welcomed home.

Feel okay, if a few gallons/liters on the heavy side. Seems my "load" has lightened a bit from yesterday, which is good (it didn't take a crane to get my legs into the car this morning), so I'm hoping maybe this is a trend. Maybe?

Shwea and I are being kept company by Carmela and Barbara and their miniature Schnauzers this evening, and expect to have some sort of company for the foreseeable. I have Greta Garbo "I vant to be alone" moments, but it isn't really a good idea (and makes some key members of my family and friends twitchy), so company I have.

And I'm lucky to have it, this I know.

As for tomorrow, I meet with my local oncologist, and we'll get things going here.

So, life is good and busy and I feel okay--this is a report I am very happy to make, friends, esp. with my completely cashed-in Bombshell at my side. XO, A

Back home!

Just woke up from a dream I've been having a lot lately--or at least a variation on a dream I have been having. I am running through a raging rain storm through a rural landscape barely wrapped in some sheets. Never a runner in "real life," I seem to have an endless supply of energy to cover miles of terrain in the worst weather imaginable, but seem to be doing it all effortlessly.

What to make of that, eh?

But that's why I'm posting you dear people now--due to delays both at the hospital and on the highway, Val, Joan and yours truly didn't get home until after 8 p.m. (Many, many thanks to Val and Joan for waiting with me and taking me home, BTW.) Was overwhelmed by my Bombshell's welcome, as usual (she has a full-body wag that cracks me up), and was very touched by all work that had gone into preparing my home for my return by Deb/Carmella, Mary, Lynn and other generous souls.

The most notable addition to the house being the oxygen system that my lung condition requires. Thanks to that, yours truly is typing with a lovely loop of plastic on her noggin'--my look just gets better and better, eh? But since breathing is something I rather enjoy, I am going to work this look as long as I must.

Am feeling pretty good, if bloated--looking a little more like the Pillsbury Doughboy than I would like right now--but hope that medicine and getting around (and not just in sheets in my dreams) will help lighten my water load.

Saying a good-bye of sorts to my wonderful medical team at MGH was very hard--they really all worked so hard on my dear carcass, and while I certainly prefer to be home more than not, I am going to miss their incredible dedication, professionalism, and most of all, sweetness (yes, sweetness). Hope you never find yourself in need of MGH's services, but if you do, I can't recommend them enough.

Well, the birds are chirping in earnest, so I had better get back to bed if I'm going to get any more rest out of this first night home. Love from Northampton and the Goddess, A

The story--as far as I know it (consider the source)

Today was a parade--of doctors, medical students, fellows, friends, calls, clergy and a member of my own dear family. Like a parade, there was often too much going on to take in, so I don't think I'm going to even try to describe much in the way of details. The brain, she just doesn't work that way today--blame it on chemo (which I am currently hooked up to), blame it on overstimulation (note aforementioned parade), blame it on (infamous) Boston, whatever.

The most important development today was that I am going home tomorrow, but not with the special insert I mentioned yesterday. That's fine, as I'd rather be home than have the tube or whatever it is. Instead, they're going to clear out whatever needs clearing out tomorrow and send me home with an outpatient appointment for the official installation on Tuesday.

Next week, I also meet with my local oncologist to get my hometown chemo and radiation plan in place. My doc in Boston has pretty much signed me over to my Northampton doc, but as I understand it, the two hospitals have a consultation agreement which means they will keep in touch with one another as needed, and my Boston doc was kind enough to say they would love to see me. Sweet.

In sum, since the disease is so darn wily and pernicious, I'm finding myself on a different path--having treatment to improve my quality of life instead of going for remission gold. Stay tuned....

Counting down...

The preparation for moving my medical operations home continues. Tomorrow, I am scheduled to see if I can have a drain of sorts intalled in my left lung so it can be cleared out as needed. It depends on a number of factors beyond my control (the saga continues), and more will be revealed tomorrow. We shall see.

Today Saint Karen was on site, keeping me company and comforted. Also had a good talk with Keitheley (thank you, sweetie), Ann and Jo, the chaplin on staff and more. A lot of tears, sweetness, and frank discussions of mortality. Ain't we got fun?

Oh well....